Managing Assumptions
During times of anticipated change, people can find themselves making an increased amount of assumptions. About what is possible, what will be or won’t be. Assumptions are part of everyday life. We all do it. We make assumptions about what is happening, what people are doing and why, based on past experience. We make assumptions about what we think we know. And sometimes you just don’t know, especially when it comes to people. It’s common for leaders to make assumptions about what people are thinking, needing, valuing, etc. Often giving advice rather than risking where open ended questions could take the conversation or the extra time it may take to explore, especially where so many leaders feel stretched for time. We need to keep in mind that people are complex. We each see the world, situations, work etc. differently. Asking questions, rather than making assumptions could not only change what you think you know - it could unlock a hidden potential you had not seen.
In this post, we will explore “Seven Essential Questions” from The Coaching Habit, by Michael Bungay Stanier.
Questions:
1. The “Kick-Start” Question: Ask “What’s on your mind?” to initiate a focused conversation. This question directs the conversation to the most important issue, making it clear that you want to talk about your employee’s most pressing issue, not your own. After opening with this question, use the “3P model” to focus the conversation.
Project: Determine what your employee is working on and discuss current assignments.
People: Consider the employee’s relationships with “team members, colleagues, other departments, bosses” and “customers.”
Patterns: Exploring your employees’ habitual behaviors can reveal how you can help them approach and accomplish their jobs more effectively.
2. The “AWE” Question: Ask “And what else?” This is the single most effective coaching question. By asking it, you generate greater understanding, improved mindfulness and enhanced self-knowledge, which increase the potential for meaningful two-way communication.
3. The “Focus” Question: Ask “What’s the real challenge here for you?” This question helps you uncover a deeper issue worth addressing, not “just the first problem” your staffer cited. Many managers try to solve problems as soon as they arise.
4. The “Foundation” Question: Ask “What do you want?” Like the focus question, the foundation question – and its companion question, “But what do you really want?” – take you directly to the main challenge. Think of this as the “Goldfish Question,” because it can cause people to react by staring at you while their mouths open and close soundlessly. This question won’t be easy for employees to answer. The foundation question deals directly with the common illusion that those participating in a conversation know what everyone wants to achieve.
5. The “Lazy” Question: Ask “How can I help?” This question saves a great deal of time. It cuts through all the hemming and hawing. It requires your employee to make a direct request of you concerning what matters most to him or her. The lazy question prevents you from immediately jumping into action and trying to solve a problem before you fully understand the situation. The wording of this question proves critical to its effectiveness. A blunter version is “What do you want from me?” If you decide to use the more direct version, preface it with “Out of curiosity…” You could also start with, “Just so I know…”, “To help me understand better…” or “To make sure that I’m clear…”
6. The “Strategic” Question: Ask “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?” This is a complex question. You’re asking the employee to commit to the previous yes. This precludes the popular excuse, “I never said I was going to do that.” The strategic question asks employees to examine the implications of their choices. It can also clarify the “boundaries and form” of the employee’s no.
Good opportunity to revisit the three P’s:
Project: Determine what your employee is working on and discuss current assignments.
People: Consider the employee’s relationships with “team members, colleagues, other departments, bosses” and “customers.”
Patterns: Exploring your employees’ habitual behaviors can reveal how you can help them approach and accomplish their jobs more effectively.
7. The “Learning” Question: Ask “What was most useful for you?” Along with the initial kick-start question, the learning question is a “Coaching Bookend.” This question guarantees that everyone will find these meetings and sessions meaningful. Asking this question enables the employee to achieve a valuable “learning moment.” It focuses the employee to pause, think and pay attention to the most important new information that emerges from the conversation.